This is a very interesting article. I guess I have also thought over the past few years about the things it brings up. As the article mentions, I was brought up during those years when it was expected that women got married, stayed home with the kids, and everything would be fine. I call it the "Leave it to Beaver" era. I remember talking wit people about my goal of going to college, and more than once seeing someone (often a guy my own age) squirm uncomfortably and mutter "Well, maybe to be a nurse or a teacher, to have something to fall back on." Well, I've been 'falling back on it' for most of the past few decades . . .
I am not sure what I expected life to be like - our family life at home was actually pretty awful (I know I am admitting this to complete strangers, but it fits with the discussion Claire inspired). So I am not certain why I thought my life would end up being more like Leave it to Beaver than a tabloid. Or whatever you might label it. But, having been through divorce and raising kids alone, I am thankful I did get my education, and I am thankful I have had a career, and I feel it made me strong. I still long for the 'happy family' I wanted to have - but somewhere in the pre-mortal life, I think I signed up for the tough stuff.
I honestly think I must have stood in front of Heavenly Father, in all my pre-mortal hubris, and said, "Yeah - I can do it - I wanna learn the hard stuff!" The reason I am certain of that is that it totally reflects the other choices I have made my entire life. I have three brothers, no sisters, and I am the only one who left Ohio, went to college, joined the military voluntarily, and a few other fairly daring things for someone who grew up in the era of Father Knows Best and the early years of the Beach Boys. But, despite my apparent confidence that all I had to do was 'do the right thing' with my kids, career, etc., and 'everything would be fine,' that's not how things went. I have had plenty of down times from some of the hard lessons, and I absolutely know what it feels like to be truly depressed. Even worse than depressed, sometimes. I've been fortunate to pull through those times, and the church family has been a big source of strength during the lessons of recent years.
The career part wasn't easy - I started my education as a single mom. I wouldn't go back to the Dark Ages of women in the workforce for anything. Women have always worked, but for years they were prevented from moving forward. I literally experience this firsthand, many times - in the Air Force, I was told, "I wish we had some men with your test scores - too bad we can't put women in (pick a career field)." Not too many years ago, I worked at TxDOT (the highway department); when I started there, only 15 percent of the workforce was female. Six years later, when I left, only 18 percent were women. And I won't even discuss the harassment incidents that happened over the years.
That entire era had to change, and I am glad it did. But change is so painful - you can't put something new in a spot without painfully breaking up and crumbling the old. So I honestly think we are in the painful era of change. I also think the Leave it to Beaver years had a lot of hidden pain that was the Elephant on the Floor in many families. It certainly was in ours. Again - as difficult as it is, we are now in an era where people are taught to reach out when there is abuse, and not to tolerate it.
Maybe when that gap of hours the article mentions closes a bit further (the comparison of hours men and women spend with kids vs jobs), we'll have a more real viewpoint of the world as a starting point rather than the distorted view of Leave it to Beaver. Then, when we have a 'real' viewpoint, we can work together on the tough stuff without the denial of the 1950s and 60s, and without the pain of the past few decades spent getting to this place?
This is literally a stream-of-consciousness response - the article is very thought provoking, and this is what came to mind for me -
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