Ruminations on Robert Frost by my friend HB

I agree about the impact of choices on happiness.  The more choices we have, the harder it is to choose and the less satisfied we'll be with whatever choice we make.  When we make a choice, we're not just choosing something, but we're also rejecting the alternatives, so the more options we have, the more things we're rejecting when we make a choice, and that can be difficult.  Also, as we reflect on our choices, we have more to regret if our initial choice was one of several things, and not just A or B.  So as we women have more choices about how to live our lives, the more we're likely to fall into being dissatisfied with some of our choices because we keep thinking about the roads not taken. 

Writing the phrase "roads not taken" made me think of Frost's poem The Road Not Taken.  Here it is:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.	20

What really stands out to me just now is how simple Frost makes the decision process seem.  He's in a wood and has to decide between one road or the other.  But what happens when there are four roads or six or ten roads?  I think he'd be standing a lot longer in the wood if he had to decide between four roads or more.  Also, Frost acknowledges that although we may tell ourselves that if the decision doesn't work out we will go back and take the other road, the reality is that usually isn't possible.  We know this, and that makes it harder to choose one road over another.  And finally, Frost acknowledges that in the future we'll look back with a sigh and a regret on some of our decisions, but on the whole, we should be happy with the decisions we've made.

Okay, English lesson over.  Here are some suggestions:  simplify choices whenever possible, don't do volumes of research, give yourself a deadline for researching a decision, then make the decision.  Remember that delaying or avoiding a decision doesn't mean that you're keeping all of your options open - some options may close while you're making up your mind.  And once you've made a decision, don't go over and over it.  If you're not happy with the results , make new decisions that will get you where you want to be, but don't go back and try to redo a decision that's already been made.  You may not be able to get back to that same fork in the road, but you can always make choices that will put you closer to where you want to be.  Cut yourself some slack - remember that you made the best decision you could with what you knew at the time.  If you now know that wasn't the best choice, then take steps to change it, but don't beat yourself up for having made the initial decision.