Ah, I have read the article now. And there have been so many great things shared that I can ‘second’. Building on that maybe I have some unique, or strange? perspectives.
1) Without a doubt, I am happier than my mother was at the same age (hmmmm this doesn’t jive with the article) AND my mother always said that her mid-forties and beyond were the happiest years of her life!
2) My mother would turn over in her grave at the thought of more choice being a source of depression. She worked so hard and was so vocal about how she wanted me to have more choices than she. She came of age during the Great Depression, and as hard as things are right now, they don’t seem as bad as what she and other relatives living in that time experienced. That being said, being in the place where I’ve actually experienced the ‘more choice’ life, I can see that what HB pointed out is certainly a downside. I used to get rather caught up in the wide variety of choices and found myself getting rather ‘stuck’ and unable to act. I think I’ve gotten to a better place from the direction of conscious choice of dwelling in the present and not allowing myself to go to the ‘regret’ phase. No matter which path we take, we gain learning and experience that will inform the next steps. If I get stuck in any past eddies now, it’s more that I feel angst about not seeing the other path that lay before me at the time at all, and now I have the perspective that there was another path at certain junctures that might have been chosen.
3) I have to reiterate what has already been written that with all the things you’ve listed as causing you to feel depressed, it would be abnormal NOT to be depressed. Tears clear toxins, allow yourself the process of sadness, and come out on the other side refreshed.
4) I love David Whyte, an Irish poet, in moody times. Here’s a piece where he is talking about an artist, but in the middle he talks about happiness, and middle age: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHLhxuQygyI
5) I, like you, have been mostly a person counted on to be happy, and I generally am. However I have had my sad moments for sure.
6) The unemployed husband issue must be difficult. With this economy it’s really doubly or triply difficult. It’s not all that easy a process in normal times, and with this economy it must truly be discouraging. I don’t know all the tools he’s used, but if he hasn’t tried JibberJobber (http://www.jibberjobber.com/login.php) it’s a great organizing tool for the search, and seeing the documentation of your efforts can give a positive sense of accomplishment towards the goal.
7) There are so many aspects of the country/world that are in chaos right now, it’s really hard not to be affected by the times we are in, not the least of which is the economy. The upside is that if we’re not paralyzed, it is an unprecedented opportunity to effect change in the systems that are broken. Another upside is that we tend to get a reality check on what it is that matters most to us and it sustains us.
8) There is a lot of reexamination at the midpoint in our lives as we’ve been busy accomplishing, and our spiritual aspirations and aspects become even more important. It’s a time when many of us have the opportunity to recreate ourselves and the structure of our lives. It’s a good thing that brings in fresh air and keeps us aligned with our inner compass if we take the opportunity to pause the auto-pilots and take charge of the wheel. We start making bucket lists, and can have a lot of fun making sure we get to everything before our health or circumstances prevent us.
Hope this is helpful.
PS. Being the sole caregiver for an 89 year old father with Alzheimer’s gives plenty of room for getting a bit ground down and exhausted, thus a bit sad. One of the practical things I do is since I can’t do the running around the globe finding fun things as I used to, I get my adventure and perspective on the day by focusing on writing about a food or local topic for my blog. It’s the one space I have to enter another world no matter where I am… I can not fail to observe then something pleasant in my immediate surroundings each day as I ‘have’ to write! A little different take on gratitude journaling.
PS. Being the sole caregiver for an 89 year old father with Alzheimer’s gives plenty of room for getting a bit ground down and exhausted, thus a bit sad. One of the practical things I do is since I can’t do the running around the globe finding fun things as I used to, I get my adventure and perspective on the day by focusing on writing about a food or local topic for my blog. It’s the one space I have to enter another world no matter where I am… I can not fail to observe then something pleasant in my immediate surroundings each day as I ‘have’ to write! A little different take on gratitude journaling.
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